Authentic Communication

Authentic Communication:
Improving Efficiencies and
Reducing Stress

NHIA 15^th Annual Conference
March 11^th, 2005

Michele Okposo, R.Ph.

Transformative Practices

michele@transformativepractices.com

612-310-8876

 

Poor Communication

 

How does it decrease efficiencies and increase stress in YOUR workplace?

Effects of Poor Communication

•Activity needs to be done a second or third time

•Operational failures

•Legal problems:  sexual harassment, discrimination

•Delayed and costly projects and meetings

•Patients and customers needs and wishes not met

•Wasted tasks performed

•Low productivity

•Unable to collect from payers

•Poor purchasing decisions

•Equipment mistreated

Communication Excellence

“Using excellent communication skills can work effectively to prevent misunderstanding and ensure reliability.

Organizations can gain a competitive advantage.

Doing work right the first time creates efficient production, outstanding quality and excellent service. 

These qualities lead to increased market share, better customer relations, and significant savings. 

If you reduce misunderstandings, you can end up saving more than you spend.”  (1)

                                   

First Things First

Authentic communication begins with awareness. 

–Bring your undivided attention to your conversation. 

–Be fully present. 

–Utilize all of your senses to capture what is being communicated.

 

“Quality communication requires exercising courage when given feedback and providing safety when receiving feedback.”

 

Eric Allenbaugh

 

Key Components of
Authentic Communication

•Open

•Honest

•Direct

•Sensitive

•Appropriate

Guidelines for Successful Speaking (2)

1.  Planning

a. Why do I want to communicate?

            (Being clear about intentions provides safety)

b.  What do I want to communicate?

            (Matches your concerns with how it makes you feel, messages are more accurately interpreted)

Guidelines to
Successful Speaking cont.

            c.  When could communication be most effective? (Timeliness is essential, usually close to event is best, “shovel while the piles are small!”)

            d.  Where could communication be most effective?

            (Can contribute or detract from intended results)

            e.  How could communication be most effective?

            (Care enough to select words that accurately reflect your message and feelings)

Guidelines to
Successful Speaking

 

2.  Separate the person from the problem.

3.  Provide safety while minimizing defensiveness, rationalization, and self-justification.

4. Don’t yield the floor until you feel listened to.

5. Don’t ask questions until you are prepared to switch to listen to the answers

Summary of
      Providing Feedback

•Clarify your intentions.

•Tailor feedback to the individual.

•Give feedback as close as possible to the event.

•Be specific and descriptive.

•Focus on actions or behavior not the person.

•Pause and check for understanding.

Coaching Steps (3)

•Explain purpose and importance of what you are trying to teach.

•Explain the process to be used.

•Show how it is done.

•Observe while the person practices the process.

•Provide immediate and specific feedback (coach again or reinforce success).

•Express confidence in the person’s ability to be successful.

•Agree on follow-up actions.

 Straight Talk:
    A Three Step Strategy (2)

•This is what I experienced.

•This is how it made me feel.

•This is what I want.

Exercise

•Choose one difficult subject you would like to discuss with someone at work.

•Choose one difficult subject you would like to discuss with someone outside of work.

•Write down:

–This is what I experienced.

–This is how it made me feel.

–This is what I want.

 

Listening

Definition:

 

“Listening is the complex, innate and learned human process of sensing, interpreting, evaluating, storing and responding to messages.” (4)

Effective Listening 

•“Seek first to understand, then to be
       understood.”             Stephen R. Covey

•Listen with the intent to            understand, don’t          listen with an intent to reply.

•Reduce blocking feedback behaviors as          they result in decreased trust and lack    of communication.

Awareness Checks-
      Do I block feedback by: (2)

•Criticizing other’s comments.

•Becoming defensive, reacting emotionally?

•Waiting to talk rather than listening?

•Being “too busy”?

•Preparing my rebuttal: “yes, but…”

•Keeping score - looking to get even?

•Interrupting, talking?

•Finding flaws in other’s ideas and perceptions?

 

Awareness Checks-
       Do I block feedback by:

•Switching to my own agenda?

•Explaining, intellectualizing?

•Focusing on personalities, missing issues?

•Initiating premature closure?

•Locking onto my position?

•Rolling eyes, sighing, tapping fingers?

•Checking out - glazed eyes?

•Placing conditions on my availability to talk?

•Leaving when things get sensitive?

Methods of decreasing resistance to receiving feedback:

–Pause

–“Tell me more”

–Ask a question

–LISTEN

–Find something to acknowledge

–Reward feedback

 

Five Levels of Listening:

•Ignoring

•Pretending

•Selective Listening

•Attentive Listening

•Empathetic Listening

 

Listening Respectfully (2)

•Listen with a Head-Heart connection - pause.

•Listen with the intent of understanding.

•Listen for the message and the message behind the message.

•Listen for both content and feeling.

•Listen with your eyes - your hearing will be improved.

•Listen for others’ interests, not just their position.

 

 Listening Respectfully

•Listen for what they are saying - and not saying.

•Listen with empathy and acceptance.

•Listen for the areas where they are afraid and hurt.

•Listen , as you would like to be listened to.

Key Principles

•Maintain or enhance self-esteem.

•Listen and respond with empathy.

•Ask for help and encourage involvement.

•Check for understanding.

•Make procedural suggestions.

•Set follow-up date.

Listening Facts (5)

•Listening is our primary communication activity.

•Listening is innate, learned and improvable behavior.

•Poor listening is costly.  Effective listening is rewarding.

•Responsible and active listeners are productive team members.

•Listening can only be commanded to the degree developed.

 

Components of
Authentic Listening

•Mirror: What I’m hearing you say is…Is this right?  Is there more?

•Summarize the essences.

•Validation:  I can understand…It makes sense because…

•Empathy: I can imagine you must be feeling...

Excersise for Authentic Listening:

•You are explaining what you would do differently if you were president.

•You are convincing the other that Santa Clause is real.

•You want to have your lunch break schedule changed.

•You want to change one thing about your workplace.

•You want to split up chores at your house differently.

 

 

“Clarity in expression, including feelings, can help minimize job stress if it leads to greater understanding and smoother working relationships.”

 

                                           Valerie O’Hara

Superior Organizational Communication Creates Value (1)

“Systems that ensure clear communication increase the operational efficiency and thus create value for the organization.  Better operational procedures and processes can be built upon the base provided by these systems.  A result may be a better good, service, system or idea.  Another result may be better relationships within the organization and between the organization and its customers, clients and anyone else in some relationship to it.”

 

“Life is change,

growth is optional.

Choose wisely.”

 

-Karen Kaiser Clark

References

•Heyman, R. Why didn’t I Say That in the First Place: How to be Understood at Work.  Josey-Bass.  1994.

•Allenbaugh, E. Wake Up Calls.  Bard Productions. 1992.

•Byham, W. Zapp: The Lightening of Empowerment.  Harmony Books. 1988.

•Kaye, K. Workplace Wars and How to End Them: Turning Personal Conflict into Productive Teamwork.  Amacom Publishing. 1994.

•Steil, L and Bommelje, R. Listening Leaders, The Ten Golden Rules to Listen, Lead, and Succeed.  Beaver Pond Press. 2004.